the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
