Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
