You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
