WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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