Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
