Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
