Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
