By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
