it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my being single is dangerous.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
