did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
