how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
