Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
