Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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