He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
