Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
