Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
