I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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