I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
