I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
