You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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