i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
