So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
