Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
