i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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