Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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