Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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