woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
