My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
