She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
