I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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