she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
