Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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