just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
