the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
