ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize