She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
