just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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