if you like me you must not know who I am
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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