Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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