And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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