In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
