How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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