Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
