first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
