her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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