I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
