Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
