I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
