put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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