go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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