I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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