The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This baby is an asshole
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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