I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
