there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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