Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
