I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
