I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
