I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
