I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk