I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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