Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one