Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You've changed since you got that strap on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"