On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i think i just lost a toe
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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