i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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